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Learning to Breathe through the Pain

NOVEMBER 7, 2018 | A year ago today I woke up with the worst pain of my life and took the day off work. Today I knew it’d be no different. I woke up with a very different but still worst pain of my life and took the day off work. A year ago I dealt with the pain of passing a baby barely yet conceived and all the aches that go with it. This morning, I am dealing with the heartache repercussions of such a time.

To look back on this past year, there has been so much good. And so much of it was spurred on because of this pain. And I can remember that and be glad for it. But today is hard. I thought so many things about what today would bring. I had an entire blog written about how I’d announce my pregnancy on this day to circumvent the heartache, but the reality is there is no pregnancy to announce. There’s no hope for another life. Just one lost.

And it’s better this way. To grieve what I need to.

And I’m ok.